Monday, February 16, 2009

Doggie Funeral

As most of you know I had to put my dog, Daisy Mae, to sleep at the beginning of December. Today I went out to Shenandoah National Park to have a proper funeral for her and lay her to rest. I have been wanting to blog about this, but I really had no idea what to say. Of course the death of the a dog is a sad occasion, however, in my case this was one of the best things that happened to me in 2008. Allow me to explain.

I have allergies. Horrible, awful, life altering allergies. About 2 years ago I underwent allergy testing and learned that my dog allergy is off the charts. My doctor strongly urged me to get rid of the dog. I adamantly refused. Daisy Mae was a "senior citizen" dog and my relationship with her was "till death do us part". When I adopted Daisy in 2004 she was 6 years old and underwent an enormous adjustment period and some severe separation anxiety. She would howl for hours on end when I went to work or if I left her with unfamiliar people. She'd bonded with me and was comfortable with our arrangement and I couldn't bear to subject her to a huge change again.

So the dog stayed, and I suffered. I followed every suggestion from the doctor regarding environmental changes to reduce allergy exposure including replacing carpeting with laminate flooring, encasing the mattress, getting an air cleaner, banishing the dog from the bed room, etc. however my allergy symptoms didn't improve much. I finally decided that what I was experiencing was likely a mild form of anaphalxis - I know when most of us hear anaphalxis we think epi-pens and 911, I did too at 1st but have since learned that there are mild forms. I considered testing the theory one evening when I feeling particularly miserable - my doctor insists that everyone carry an epi-pen in the event of a severe reaction to allergy shots so I had one here and I thought if this is anaphalxis then that would help. The problem was that using the epi-pen involved 2 things I wasn't keen on: a self inflicted intramuscular injection with a big a** needle and a trip to the ER. I decided not to test the theory. Anyway, I'm digressing. The point is that despite a ton of medication, environmental changes, and allergy shots I was still miserable and I couldn't make it better. I was sure that the dog was responsible.

And I was right! I have been dog free for three months and have never felt better! I noticed a change in how I felt within days of the dogs death. I have energy to go out and have fun, all the symptoms I was having that I couldn't explain are gone, and I'm off almost all my meds (down to just 1 from 10!)! :-) I did have one allergy attack since, but it was the 2nd night at Canaan Valley and I know the room I was staying in was infested with dust mites. It feels so amazing to feel so good!

So you can see the mixed feelings here. I want to be sad, but my life is so much improved! She was a wonderful dog and was a wonderful addition to my life! The final piece of my job as "doggie momma" was to sprinkle her ashes somewhere that she would enjoy.

The night before Daisy died I decided that I wanted to have her ashes returned to me and I was going to take them out to one of our favorite trails in Shenandoah National Park and allow her to have her final resting place somewhere she loved.

Our 1st New Years Eve together it was "unseasonably" warm (funny how nearly every winter it just gets warmer and warmer...that's another blog for another time!) and I decided that Daisy and I would go for a hike. When we got to Shenandoah though I discovered that Skyline Drive was closed because despite the warm weather it was snow covered. Daisy and I went around to the Old Rag parking area and hiked up the Nicholson Hollow trail. The trail ran parallel to the Hughes River which is a really cool mountain stream with big boulders and waterfalls. I fell in love the trail and wanted to hike it again. Daisy was also loving it! I let her off the leash and she loved sniffing and exploring.

Remembering that day I knew exactly where I wanted to sprinkle her ashes, along the banks of the Hughes River. I'd planned on doing this on New Years Eve this year - just to keep with tradition, however I decided to go to Canaan Valley and take care of myself which was a needed thing! I'd stashed Daisy's ashes in the basement, behind a box a fabric because the idea of having her remains hanging out on the hutch kinda weirded me out so I'd actually forgot all about having her funeral, until today. I was supposed to go to Susan's to help set up Baby's Jack's nursery, however she Twittered about 11:30 that she didn't really need the help and suddenly I thought, today's the day!

It was ultimately very anti-climatic. It wasn't sad or difficult like I'd thought it would be, it's didn't weird me out at all like I'd expected, it was just what needed to be done! It was a lovely afternoon and I had a nice drive out to the park. I was totally alone on the trail, which is how I like it! There were occasional snow flakes falling which made it fun! Daisy always loved the snow! I found a good spot and sprinkled "her" all over the ground (I have no idea about the legality of this, so let's keep this as our little secret! I'm pretty sure it's ok to sprinkle human remains in a NP, so I'm guessing canine are OK too. I googled it but couldn't find an answer!). I then hiked back, enjoying the chilly air and the sunshine.

Daisy Mae was a good dog. She loved food, sleeping and having her hip/backside scratched!
Good bye doggie!

2 comments:

Talmadge said...

A beautiful tribute, Melissa.

nettiemac said...

Awww!!!!! I know you loved her so much, because it comes through every word. :) She was one lucky dog to have you!