Saturday, November 03, 2012

Funniest Day!

Since Leah and I put the sheets in the dryer this morning, but failed to turned the dryer on, I’m waiting up for my sheets to dry before I can go to bed and I thought I’d blog some of the hysterical stuff that happened today!

We went hiking at Manassas Battlefield and I’d been carrying her in the baby backpack.  We’d walked about a mile and I’d been asking her if she wanted to get out but she kept saying no.  Until she said “I have to go potty.”   Oh-no! 

She was wearing a pull-up (she’s had a few accidents lately, but she still uses the potty when she has to even with a pull up on!) and I attempted to negotiate with her to just use the pull up and I’d change it when we got back to the car.  She refused.  Said “I need to use the bushes.”  Ok then. 

I lowered her down, a little faster than I intended and she got scared, but as soon as she was on the ground she started cracking up! I then started trying to get her clothes off.  It was really cold outside so she was dressed in layers.  She was wearing 2 layers of coats, a shirt and 3 layers of pants.  The top layer of pants was overalls.  I got the overalls unhooked without taking off the coats and pulled everything down.  I then realized that at 3 she likely doesn’t have the finesse and aim that I do when I “use the bushes” and she probably couldn’t do it without getting her pants wet.  It was cold and I really didn’t want her to get her pants wet.  So I took them off.  Of course she wasn’t standing still – I managed to get her in the most awkward position – her head was under my arm and I had her mid-section on my lap as a wrestled 3 pairs of pants and a pull up off.  Of course I’d pulled them down already so I had to 1st locate the boots under all the clothes and get them off, then the rest of the pants. 

Now we were ready to learn to pee in the woods.  I modeled and taught the proper stance, however she pulled her legs a little far apart and didn’t squat deeply enough and pee went down her leg! 

She finally said she was done (after taking a few seconds to enjoy the breeze!).  At 1st I attempted to put the pull up and all 3 pairs of pants back on simultaneously.  This did not work.  The top pair of pants went on but the bottom pair got lost.  This is was starting to remind me of something that happened at Starbucks last summer (I can’t seem to find where Susan wrote about that…when I do, I’ll post it).  So I finally had to pull all the pants apart and put them on one at a time.  I got back to the overalls.  I didn’t want to take off the coats (the top coat has a tricky zipper that I didn’t want to fight with again) I managed to thread the left strap through the coats and got it snapped.  The right one was more of a challenge!  I had my hand on one side of the fleece layer and the strap on the other side!  I finally got them connected and got the overalls hooked! 

I sat back and looked at Leah, proud of myself and her for managing a bathroom break!  Then I realized we weren’t done yet, she still didn’t have her boots on! Luckily those were easy!

I told her she had to run to get warm again, but she didn’t seem like she was cold!?!?! 

After our walk we went to Wegmans.  She was getting tired by this point and less cooperative.  I knew what I needed and I know the store like the back of my hand so I was counting on this being fast! I put her in the basket part of the cart so she’d had more room – I felt like she’d been “contained” all day between the car seat & the backpack.  She’d clearly never ridden there and was unsure at 1st, but I think she liked it (Sorry Susan….). 

We made it through the produce section and zipped into the “Nature’s Markeplace” so I could pick up some coconut oil. As we zoomed down the aisle we went past a man who was looking at the shelf trying to decide what he needed.  As we went past Leah yelled “Watch out Little Man!”  I was simultaneously mortified and trying not to crack up.  I finally pulled myself together and said to Leah (so the man could hear me) “The proper term is ‘sir’, we should say ‘Excuse me, Sir’”.  He did smile at her as he past, I couldn’t even look at him.

One of the things on my list was some Always.  When I tossed them in my cart she yelled out “ISSA, WHAT ARE THESE????”.   I explained that Mommy would tell her in about 7 years. 

She proceeded to spend the rest of our time in the store playing with the pack of Always.  They were a pillow, a tray for the frozen peas, and most hysterically, a guitar.  The image of her sitting in the cart riding through the frozen food section playing on her maxi pad guitar, will always crack me up! (pun intended!)  She wasn’t singing though…that would have made it better!

On the way home I couldn’t stop laughing about our Wegmans trip and every time I laughed she asked why I was laughing and I told her it was because she was so funny and then she started fake laughing really hard, which made me laugh harder!

Before all this hilarity we had a few other moments…

At one point in the car she was saying “Hello, Hello, Hello!”  I asked who she was talking to and she said “Hello”.  I said “Who are you saying “Hello to?”  She said “Hello”.   Finally it came out that she had an invisible friend named “Hello.”

She asked about the sun roof, so I opened it and told her it was a window in the roof.  She thought that was hysterical and started talking about other stuff that could go in the roof…like a cow in the roof or a dog in the roof.  This thought process lead to her remembering the song “Turkey in the Straw”, which she knows 1 line of.  "”Turkey in the straw, turkey in the straw, turkey in the straw….”

On our hike was some deer prints.  She concocted a story about the deer that involved the Vikings taking the deer away.   How does she know this stuff? 

What a fun day! My sheets are dry now so I can post this and go to bed! I’m sure she’ll be up early….tonight’s the time change!