Oh the Saga....

I bought my 2006 Saturn Vue in December 2005. I’d been planning on paying cash, however they were offering some kind of incentive for financing, an incentive which I cannot remember at this time. So since I qualified for the incentive I went for the financing, then promptly paid off the loan in March 2006.

GMAC sent me the lien release letter and a title. The title was to someone else’s car. Some Cadillac in New York. I called GMAC and they basically said “oh. Oops. Take your lien release letter to your DMV and they will give you a new title.”

A trip to the DMV, ugh. I put the paperwork on the table in the kitchen to deal with later and promptly forgot all about it. The stuff would surface every now and then, but usually on a Sun or another day that I couldn’t deal with it. That’s how 2 and half years later I’m just now dealing with this.

I found the papers Wednesday evening as I was cleaning off the table in the kitchen. It was about 4:00 so I decided to high-tail it to the DMV right then and get it taken care of. I feeling so good because I was finally dealing with this and was making a list of other “old problems” and “old projects” that I could take care of in the coming weeks.

I get to the DMV and find that now you have to wait in line in order to earn the privilege of waiting in line! I guess it’s kinda like the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter! So the Sorting Hat lady tells me that I must have a lien release letter that is addressed to The Woodbridge DMV, the letter I had was addressed to me. She gives me the form and instructs me to call them now and get them to fax the letter in the next 15 mins. She gives me a number and calls the next person.

I reach for my cell phone and realize that I have not battery left. I have to go out to the car in order to call so I can hook up to my charger. I call the number on the letter and enter my account number. My account cannot be accessed so they transferred me to a customer service representative. She asks for my account number, which again, she cannot find. I explain the situation she then accesses me by using my name and address. I explain that I need a the lien release faxed to the Woodbridge DMV, now, in the next 5 mins. She says that it will take 24-48 hours. Yikes.

At this point I decide that it would be better for them to fax the letter to me, that way I can have it and get it to the DMV myself. I didn’t want the letter to get lost at the DMV or something. I tell the gal the number and she repeats back to me that the letter needs to go to Melissa (my last name), I said “No, it must be addressed to the Woodbridge DMV, NOT me.” I repeated this 4 times and again before I hung up. She assured me that the letter would be addressed to the DMV.

I headed home satisfied that I’d made headway on the problem and that I would get it solved on Friday.

This afternoon about 2:00 the phone rang. It was the fax! I waited by the fax machine as the paper came out. The letter that I’d explicitly asked to be addressed to the Woodbridge, DMV, was addressed to me!!!!!! AGGHHHHH!!!!!

What’s an intelligent rule following gal supposed to do? Doctor the letter of course. I went to the computer and typed “Dear Woodbridge Department of Motor Vehicles:”, changed the font color to a dark grey so it will match the faded, old toner text color of the fax, made a copy of the fax, taped the new salutation over the old one and made another copy. The hardest part was erasing the line that kept showing up making it obvious that I’d doctored the letter. I didn’t have any white out, so I tried white acrylic paint, too thin. Finally I smoothed the tape enough that there wasn’t a line. I had my letter and I headed off confidently to the DMV.

I walked in and stood in line for the Sorting Hat lady. When it was my turn I showed the lady the documents and explained how the gal Wed night had instructed me to get a letter addressed to the Woodbridge DMV. She approved of my documents and gave me a number. I went to sit and wait my turn.

As I sat down I noticed a spot of white paint on my right thumb from where I’d tried to use acrylic paint as white out and started to panic a bit – they’d see it and know what I’d done! Despite the fact that no white paint was actually used in the doctoring of the letter. I would make a crappy criminal. I picked the paint off. I waited about 45 mins in the crowded lobby, reading my book club book and witnessed a very large African-American woman plead at the top of her lungs with her screaming toddle to “Sit yer ass down!” Colorful afternoon at the Woodbridge DMV.

When my number was called I marched myself up to the window. The gal at the window looked like a cartoon character. She was a shortish, roundish African-American lady with huge 1980’s saucer like plastic tortoise shell glasses (think Sally Jessie Raphael, only not in red), blond fake hair and purple lipstick on her nearly circular plump lips.

I showed her my paperwork. She then says “Is the lien release in the back?” Motioning to a back room. I said, very proud of my forethought here, “Nope, it’s right here! See, it’s even address to you, like the gal said.” Little Miss Big Glasses Purple Lips says, “The letter must be faxed to us.” I explained my thinking and she says “Why is the fax number stapled to the form?” I explained everything that had happened and she said “The lien release must be faxed here.”

It was at this point that I lost it. I almost all out yelled at the poor lady. I angrily explained that I’d been wasted 45 mins waiting, that the other lady should have told me about the rule of faxed letters only. I was so angry. She probably gets yelled at like this all day, she just repeated her line and I gathered up all my papers and stormed out of the DMV.

So I get home, call GMAC again and ask for the letter. This time the letter is going to be faxed to the DMV. It will be there in 24 – 48 hours. I suppose I need to wait until at least Wed to go over and try again. Third time better be a charm or I’m writing my own damn Title for the car.

Moral of the story: I will never, under any circumstance, no matter what the incentive, finance a car again. Cash only.